Goodnight, My Love

My rambunctious little boy is officially 2 years old today.
His personality is exploding. He has likes and dislikes. He has opinions; so many opinions. He talks up a storm. He is growing into himself, and it is amazing to watch.

Finn lives for adventures. Several times a day he runs into a room, carrying his tiny shoes in his hands, and shouts “GO NOW?!” He doesn’t care where, he just wants to go. He wants to run, to play, to explore.

Driving to the store with dad.
Walking to check the mail.
Taking out the trash.
Wandering around the apartment complex.
He just wants to be free.

The biggest bond we share is still nursing. Just little spurts here and there, 1 or 2 minutes tops. He only needs enough to give him comfort. I know it will end, and probably someday soon. I will cherish these moments while I have them.

Every night at bedtime he runs to my bed, “go, nigh-nigh!” Flinging himself up on the mattress, he finds his spot, and wiggles down under the covers. “MOM! GO NIGH!”

As soon as I lay next to him, he scoots up to me and latches on. His little hand blindly searches for my other breast. Once he finds it, his fingers grip on to me. I am his security blanket. I am his comfort. Several minutes later his breathing slows. The rhythmic suckling weakens. His little fingers go limp, and he drifts off to sleep.

Leaning closer, I inhale his sweet scent. His soft curls tickle my face. I slowly trace my fingers along is tiny hand; he’s so small. His perfect little skin is so soft. I adore him.

His mouth falls slack, and he unlatches. Ever so gentle, I untangle myself from him, and slide out of the bed. Kissing his tiny nose one last time, I pull the soft sheet up and tuck him in. “Goodnight, my love,” I whisper.

I silently make my way to the door, stopping to look back one more time. He sighs in his sleep and clutches the blanket. The little crease in his forehead softens, and he radiates peace.

Two shining eyes are staring at me from behind him. The cat has already taken his spot next to Finn, curled up behind his back. My furry friend will watch over my son while he sleeps, he does every night.

My baby is growing up.
It is beautiful and messy and exciting and sad and glorious all at once. I look forward to seeing what the next year will bring him.


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