Adapting

This past summer I was in a car accident on the interstate.

I-35 is just riddled with construction, and it is horrible.
What makes this road even more dangerous are the numerous hills and curves along the way.
I had just finished prenatal appointments for the day, and was heading back to the pick the kids up.
Coming up over a hill going 60 MPH, I saw the traffic at the bottom was at a complete stop.
I instinctively stomped on my break and jolted to a stop just in time.
Glancing in my rear-view mirror, I saw the car behind me for only a split second.
I registered that there was no way they would stop in time, and squeezed my eyes shut tight.

I heard the squeal of tires protesting.
The bronze car slammed into me.
I slammed into the silver car.
The rear-view mirror flew off the windshield.
My sunflower seeds were propelled from my lap and spewed all over the car.
The contents of my midwife bag were everywhere.

Sitting still, I quickly took stock of my various limbs.
Everything was still attached.
I couldn’t feel any pain.
The man in the front car jumped out and rushed to my window.
“Did you get hurt? Are you okay?”
“…yes?”
I could feel the adrenalin now.
A wave of nausea hit.

The girl behind me was whole as well.
Good.
No one was hurt.

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. . . . .

I had such awesome plans.
In 3 years I would be finished with my apprenticeship.
I would have all of my prenatals, births, and paperwork complete.
I would save up and go to a study retreat before taking the expensive and intensive test.
I would be a midwife.

All of that.
Gone.

No car.
No apprenticeship.
No babysitter.

I would be lying if I didn’t say that I was completely crushed.
My dream was SO CLOSE.
I could see it.
I could feel it.
And in an instant, ripped away.

. . . . .

Now that several months have passed and I’ve had time to mourn my dream, it is time to regroup.
So I can’t attend births right now.
Fine.
I  can still study.

Another branch of my dream is to have my own apothecary.
So I will adapt.
I will focus on herbs until I can get back to birth.

Life will move on.
I will get what I want.
It just takes work.

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